I built a shelf

Today I realized I left the power cord for my computer back in Madison (and that was only because I was visiting my aunt in the hospital and had to unplug it to show her things before I dashed off to pick up Claire from the bus...visiting home was no vacation that's for sure!). I had a lot I wanted to use the computer for today as I was busy for three days, but I then remembered how many things I had wanted to do without the computer! The most exciting of all those things was building my shelf.

I love having my books displayed in the place I am living and my books have lived in boxes since June. It took me a long time to get them all displayed in Madison, and I had to take over some common space shelves when I finally did. When I moved to Minneapolis, there was no room for a shelf and no shelf to take over in the common area, so I asked my books to be patient. I moved again and had plenty of space, but no shelf. But what other furniture was I going to need and where would I put the shelf?

I waited a few weeks to see if I could find a shelf I liked for free or for a bargain...but everyone loves shelves. I complained to my dad about the lack of a shelf, but I should have been prepared for his answer: "You should build one!" "But it won't look nice." I let my dad go on and on about the wonderful perks of a do-it-yourself shelf, but I was waiting to see if I found one for free. I didn't, but I did find some free cedar boards from an old deck that would be long enough and the right amount. A bunch of 2x6 boards that looked nice. So I guess I had to do it!

I got some tools (some from my dad just this very weekend) and today I got to plan it and build it. I wanted it to be 73 in tall with 5 shelves about 30 in long. So I figure 2 shelves at 14 in high and 3 at 12 in high would be perfect. I had nails and a 8 ft 1x2 to use for supports...but my plan did not go as planned.

First, I sawed, and sawed, and got blisters, and got gloves and then sawed again. The nails would not stay in their holes and so I put in more and then reinforced the joints of top/bottom and sides. I forgot to nail one part and it deceived me till I put books on it. I love it...even if it is a little too crooked, but not crooked enough to be artsy. I love it even though I am going to be sore tomorrow. My books are free! Hooray!

Tapping my Toes

When I walk into a bar, especially one I have never been before or one that is the kind that working class folk go to after work, it takes me a minute to order a drink. I have to walk around like I know where I am going, enter the bathroom to put my hair up to better suit the mood of the place or maybe check the score of the game and shake my head at how bad our team is behind.

Then I gauge the drink that allows me to fit in yet still be comfortable in my own skin. I sit down because I am always too early for the band I have come to see and there is nothing to do but get acclimated. I always forget that I never quite know how to be in a bar, unless there is music I can dance to, and yet everyone seems so much more comfortable not dancing.

And then the music starts and my heart starts to beat in time and I stand up with the same feeling as if I were greeting my love after a long separation. I wonder briefly when music itself, not one group or song in particular, has claimed me as its own...and then I start to dance.

Compassion without a pat on the back

I heard a little bit of this radio show on NPR the other day and the subject was compassion. I do not know what the whole show was about but the woman who was speaking when I was able to listen was a nun once and know studies comparative religion. Her name is Karen Armstrong and she won a TED prize which then does something for the winner as a wish. See here:

http://www.tedprize.org/karen-armstrong/the-personal-side-of-compassion/

I am forever amazed at how when people who study all religions talk about their universal teachings I completely agree with everything they say and want to shout it out, but when a religious person asks me about my beliefs I also feel exhausted and ill at the end of the conversation. Oh how we have muddled these ideas over the centuries! I cannot believe that people have chosen to see the types of meanings in their religion's teachings that lead to hate and violence. I am always amazed at how little people care to talk about love and peace.

My life has been revealing things to be lately about attitude and happiness as a consequence of doing the things that make you feel good and think positively. I recently watched a movie or film or something called The Secret. It talked about the Law of Attraction, and how we get what we think about in our lives. So when we focus on what we do not want, it will still come to us because the universe does not interpret things with a NOT in front of it. It just provides what we dwell on and so we have to project exactly what we want to get it. Visualization and actual feeling as if you have this thing now are essential.

I play the Glad Game from Pollyanna a lot because I believe in finding good things even among less than desirable circumstances. I also use childcare speak with people..."please walk" and "inside voices" [not "don't run" and "don't yell"], but obviously I am not saying those exact things in my every day life! :) I look for the good in people and I try to do things that I love everyday. I do not hurt animals, even mosquitoes and spiders, because they are fine to be here too. I try to be compassionate all the time, but I am not doing it to get a badge that will make it that much easier for me to get into Heaven, I am doing it because it simply feels good to treat others well and sometimes to put them above myself.

I am so content these days because I have figured out that when I have a choice to make, I really have to trust my feelings and act based on what I know feels the best. It is hard for me to learn to feel for a choice over thinking about it, but I know that this is the rational choice to make now. So I leave you now, to make my reality for the day...smile...ok, come on, get happy....!!!! =D